


becoming ouroboros

by americangothic



Series: Oh Worm? [11]
Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Abuse, Possession, can someone tell lloyd to Not forgive his abuser please, hey anyone remember that time that morro was canonically lloyds cousin, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 04:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americangothic/pseuds/americangothic
Summary: Lloyd sometimes remembers that Morro was, technically, his cousin.He wonders what it would be like to have a real cousin (or to be a part of a functional family, for that matter).





	becoming ouroboros

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall im still swissrollshiro but i changed my name at Long Last

_**ouroborus** _

_ (noun)   
(a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.) _

 

he thinks that in another time, in another place, in different circumstances, they could've been friends. they might've sat at lunch tables and joked together, or trained next to each other under sensei wu.

 

he knows that morro is one person.

 

he wants to see him as two.

 

(the morro that might laugh and hand him another photo of his uncle- morro’s father- drinking with old, forgotten friends. the morro that might stand next to him awkwardly at the family reunion. the morro that might guide his hands into the proper positions, teaching him how to do spinjitzu. the morro that might not hurt him.)

 

(the morro that pins him to a wall and snakes down his throat. the morro that moves lloyd’s limbs for him and uses him as a puppet. the morro that drains the air from his lungs and laughs, a smile passing over his ghostly lips.)

 

he doesn't trust sensei wu sometimes. it is when he says something, about lost students and past regrets, that lloyd knows he wants his son back.

 

lloyd doesn't blame him.

 

(ok, maybe he blames him a little bit.)

 

he makes excuses. it's okay cause he's my cousin it's okay cause we've got a lot in common it's okay cause he just wants to teach sensei wu a lesson it's okay cause at least he didn't break my bones and snap my arms it's okay cause he would've been my friend if the circumstances were different. the excuses don't convince anyone but him.

 

contaminated, lloyd thinks, i am contaminated.

 

one day he is given a child to hold (since he is a hero and heroes hold babies and wave like a leader) and the baby grins up at him with his black hair and toothless mouth, and the mother says “we named him damien, damien morro wescott. isn't it a nice name?” 

 

he chokes back tears and gives the baby back, trembling hands unable to carry the sudden weight. “it’s a beautiful name,” lloyd says and his tongue is lead in his mouth. he does not want a child.

 

misako asks him one day how he would feel about a brother. he gives her a dead smile, and realizes by now he's about morro’s age. later that night he wonders if he would be a good brother. 

 

he would not, he realizes, because out of all his family members who taught him so much (some less than others) he never learned how to take their places.

 

he will never be as determined of a father as garmadon. he will never be as absent of a mother as misako. he will never be as terrifying (harmful bad traumatizing evil) of a cousin as morro. he will never be as odd of an uncle as wu. he will never be as good as a sibling as kai or cole or jay or zane or nya.

  
maybe it's better that way, he thinks, because if there is anything he wants, it is to be different than his family.

**Author's Note:**

> me: writes a thinly veiled story that's just me projecting my trauma onto lloyd  
> me: wow! thats pretty cool :)


End file.
